New

Our new baby was born on the 28th December.  Her birth was so right, I really do hope I come back to write about it here.  For now I am enjoying our baby moon, so aware that each moment she is getting older & how quickly these early days will pass.  CJ & MC have welcomed their baby sister with an acceptance I never imagined, I am so in love with them all.  I can’t think of a better start to the new year then having a brand new life with us.

It looks like it might be another adventurous year for us as right now we’re trying to decide if we return to The UAE or try our luck in Brisbane.  I have a feeling our time in the Middle East may have unexpectedly come to an end, but with a new life & year & CJ ready for ’something’ outside of the home my feeling is a stint in Australia might be a breath of fresh air for us.

Regardless of where we are my wishes for the year stay the same.  I will try to focus on my young babes, keep things simple & remind myself every morning about the goal of being worthy of imitation.

Welcome baby girl & Happy New Year friends!

Add comment December 31, 2009 aniwaniwa

NZ Nesting

patriotic me & not scared of the cold water

I started a long post about the trip over not long after we arrived back in New Zealand. The days started to roll on & now we’ve been here over 2 weeks & are racing towards Christmas & the new baby I don’t think I’ll ever get around to finishing it.  It will remain with the pile of Ummi drafts never to be published.  This is a crazy but magic time waiting for our new baby, when will it be? how will it happen?what will it be like? Life is about to change forever again & all I can do is trust it will be what it is & to wait.  I feel a bit of urgency now & am really starting to get ready, I finally feel like this baby could join us at anytime.  I am completely shattered after looong days with CJ & MC.  Stay tuned.

2 comments December 9, 2009 aniwaniwa

Happy Birthday!!

To Ummi!

My blog is one year old today!

I’m not sure of the purpose or point, it’s mostly a record/diary for me & for my (few lovely) readers some photos of my beautiful family. One favourite friend commented “it’s like I’ve just had a good conversation with you”.  My goal as I go on is to keep searching for the authentic ‘me’.  I bore myself at times so thanks for reading.

CJ & his cousin back in New Zealand

Darling MC

**peace**

1 comment December 2, 2009 aniwaniwa

Blessing Days

getting started

getting started

I’m 35 weeks pregnant now and moving into full on birth preparation mode.  I had 2 unforgettable days this week spending time with friends, saying goodbye as we prepare for our trip home to New Zealand.  I received blessings & beads (& a few cheeky gifts) to encourage me on my journey and glowed feeling so propped up by my wonderful women!  On Wednesday my Dubai friends gathered at my house to get some henna done.  The artist is from Sudan & she was incredible.  She didn’t speak much English so we pretty much left the designs up to her.  I loved how she called me sister.

Dubai:

CJ & MC were curious

my tribe

finished product

beads, beany & booties

booties and beads

wow!

The next day CJ, MC & I got a ride with A to Abu Dhabi for a mellow day with a three very special friends.  On the way I was so tired but when we arrived & I saw my friends who I hadn’t seen for a long time I was so happy & woke right up.  It was a beautiful & emotional morning & I cried lots of happy tears, slightly overwhelmed.  I collected more beads for my birthing necklace that I’m looking forward to threading up once we’re settled in NZ.  These incredible pics were taken by the incredible Kirsty Lamour, but even more special then these photos are the words she wrote about me for the morning which have touched me so much & made me cry buckets!  Thanks K will pass photos & your writing on to this baby one day.

Abu Dhabi:

CJ whispering something about chocolate @ nanny's

And these taken by me!

typical expressions when these two are together

I’ve been given lots and lots of birth preparation DVD’s too so I’ve started working my way through them & will enjoy the last weeks of my pregnancy filling up on those, getting ready to have this baby.  CJ has been watching some too, it is hard to explain to an almost 4 year old that pain can be good & isn’t always a “mistake”! He is looking forward to meeting the new baby.

We are leaving in the morning & I’m ready for a long hard journey.  It will be 24 hours door to door on my own with CJ & MC, 35 weeks pregnant & involving 3 airplane boardings & a terminal change.  I’m hoping that when we finally arrive I will breathe a big sigh, knowing why we’ve done it & ready to relax in our new nest, waiting for our next family member to arrive.

Wellington: Almost 3 weeks later & I had a bit of a surprise 3rd Blessing Day today!  I went to see my old LLL group & the pregnant women were read blessings which was so special & surprising!  I also received a book as a gift from the Mana group to our Dubai group & lots of muffins to take home :-) ) ah I mix with great people!

1 comment November 22, 2009 aniwaniwa

Me and Mine

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checking my belly out

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33 weeks hapu

I think these pictures speak for themselves.

Precious days.

3 comments November 11, 2009 aniwaniwa

The Weekend

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Haloween/1st Birthday

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Belly Dancer

And nothing like a day at the beach to relax us all. Although we were complaining about the cold water at first! Lovely day.

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Add comment November 1, 2009 aniwaniwa

pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding

I caught myself in a mirror today.  I was dressed in black and facing the mirror head on, I hardly looked pregnant.  Later on I was talking to two women and it wasn’t until I stood up one of them realised I was pregnant.  Until now I have felt big and I’ve put on a lot of weight, but for a second it made me wonder if I’ve done the right thing?  But in my heart I know I have.

I chose not to have any prenatal care in this pregnancy.  I’ve felt fine so mostly kept away from the ‘professionals’.  My previous experiences with health care professionals or ‘carers’ (ha ha) have left me angry.  I have discovered that in pregnancy, birth and childcare women are dis-empowered and belittled.

I have been told stories by women who have lost pregnancies, and been left with no support.  Others have been advised of serious health problems and even told to leave the country and terminate their pregnancy for medical reasons, who have gone on to have perfect children.  Others have been told all looks great and not until after birth have they  discovered things were less than ‘perfect’.  So even though I’ve had one doctors appointment and after careful thought chose to have two scans, I have pretty much decided my pregnancy will unfold along its own natural course and what will be will be.  I chose to trust in my body and not to put myself through the stress and expense of uncaring medical care.

I am wary to write about my birth as I have a clear picture in my mind of what I’m hoping for and am scared expressing it will somehow curse my dream.  My desire to birth peacefully and safely at home and uninterrupted by strangers means I am traveling across the world with my two wee ones at 36 weeks pregnant, no small task!  The birth culture here in Dubai is out of control. Doctors are authoritarian and rigid, systematic policies  come before women’s wants and needs.

And after pregnancy and birth comes breastfeeding.  I have come to believe, after almost four years of mothering, that breastfeeding is much much more than a way of feeding.  Babies have an intense need to suck and benefit emotionally by being able to outgrow the need for mum in their own good time.  MC has continued to breastfeed through my pregnancy despite their being very little if any milk for her.  I am willing to breastfeed her and her new brother or sister and I hope it will help her remain secure in the unsettling time of her new siblings arrival.  It hasn’t been easy feeding her through the pregnancy.  It has been painful and often felt disgusting (breastfeeding aversion or agitation), but I have kept going believing it is what is right for her and that it is her decision to decide when she’s done, not mine.

 

Add comment October 27, 2009 aniwaniwa

Busy growing a baby

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31 weeks pregnant

I haven’t written on here for ages.  Time is just flying and I’ve been hard at work growing this baby.  I have taken a “day off” today which means no commitments & a day to just be.  The last month has been an emotional chaos with so many friends dealing with different troubles and struggles and I’ve been feeling their pain.  I continue to stumble my way through mothering my two babes while finishing essays and studying for an exam, it’s been hectic.  I’ve enjoyed LLL work and holding a fundraiser and organising & preparing for another Blessingway. Oftentimes I nap with CJ & MC in the afternoon but that usually involves a 10-20 minute power nap & lots of reading or scheming. I have a long list of pregnancy related complaints but they keep getting put into perspective by other peoples afflictions.

Another major change is that grumpy got a new job….And isn’t grumpy anymore.  It is so nice to have the man I know back and some sort of emotional support returned.  Six months of living with grumpy was NOT FUN.  The tyrant he was working for has put us back two steps in the grand plan (financially) but hopefully his new job will see things begin to brighten again.

We are heading back to NZ in four weeks and really looking forward to a refreshing change.  Three months at a time in the desert is more then enough & the need for some fresh air becomes urgent.  A change of scene will do us all good.  We are looking forward to welcoming our new baby & the reality is really sinking in as I imagine how our days might be with a newborn in the mix.  CJ is as trying as ever with wonderful highs and extreme behaviours testing me & our relationship.  I often still fail in the way I would like to react to him but I feel like our relationship is solid.

Now to end this post with something delicious, these are pictures from last week, enjoying a vegetable followed by lemon meringue pie for dinner!

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Peter Pan with his knife & torch

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MC loves to eat

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it was really good!

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return of the man, good riddance grumpy

Add comment October 27, 2009 aniwaniwa

Full Moon Drumming

We headed out to the desert last night to join the full moon drumming circle.  As we got closer to the location we ended up in convoy heading into the parking area at the start of the desert.  From here 4WD’s shuttled everyone into the camp, it was a slightly hairy ride with C&M but we were there in a few minutes.  The set up was awesome, down in a hollow there was the drum circle with dance floor behind, traditional Arabic seating around the drumming, an area for food & a bar, real toilets, camel rides and a bonfire pit.  The tall surrounding dunes were used for sand boarding, running down & as a lookout for watching the action.

The first few hours were brilliant.  We did some drumming and MC loved dancing up the front.  CJ started off a bit overwhelmed & wanted to play in the dunes & have a camel ride.  He didn’t take long to warm up though & was soon running around having fun,  smacking the main drummers bottom’s & hitting their drums!

After some drumming & dancing we had our dinner.  It’s still really hot so we were all dripping with sweat & covered in sand but happy to be there.  Things went a little down hill when the organiser droned on for way too long with impromptu blabber  & the energy of the drumming died a bit.  This was followed by music & dancing that made us imagine what it’s like in a (bad) Beirut nightclub!  We were tired & my poor pregnant body was sore after a long day so we headed home around 11pm.

It was a cool scene & we will watch the moon and look forward to following the next full one back to the big party in the desert.

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drumming

the camp

the camp

getting her groove on

getting her groove on

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Add comment October 3, 2009 aniwaniwa

Thursday

Thursday is the last day of the working week, and our regular play- date at home.  It’s an open house for our friends to visit.  It’s been too hot to play outside after 10am, so for the last few months its been indoor play.  Sometimes we do an activity like play dough or baking.  Here are some photos from last Thursday, “stepping stones” is what is being played, and the kids baked the most delicious scones for morning tea.

stepping stones

stepping stones

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sweet as pie

sweet as pie

LIONS!

LIONS!

Add comment September 26, 2009 aniwaniwa

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