Posts filed under ‘mothering




nature table

Since the beginning of Autumn we have begun  a nature/seasonal table. I love it when we’re out & find things to take home for our table.  It is always changing.  Here is today’s picture, flowers given to CJ by our ‘flower woman’ at the farmer’s markets, shells from South Stradbroke Island, fairies made at playgroup & a mushroom I made at home. The pine-cones are AO’s favourite toy right now so there are quite a few hanging around the house.

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Add comment July 11, 2010

reclaiming my baby-moon.

I’ve been so tired lately.  But I am not good at doing nothing. I started reading a beautiful book last week but today it lay on my pillow & I had a day of baby-moon.  Since the birth of AO I have been full steam ahead but lately my body is telling me to rest.  Today I watched AO breastfeed, I looked at the colours of her hair & stroked her soft head. We played with each others hands & I listened to her sounds. We stared in each others eyes & I watched as she fell asleep, twice so far today. We breathed together.

I have decided to do this more often & to reclaim my baby-moon that was lost in an International move.  One day here, one day there, I reckon I’m owed at least 4 weeks of peaceful days in bed with my newest baby.

Add comment July 4, 2010

lightbulb

I had a light bulb moment recently.  It hit me that parenting isn’t about my children AT ALL! My parenting is all about ME and how I relate to my children, & in fact to people in general.  If I am working on myself, interacting honestly & openly with others & treating my babies with focused respect I don’t need to worry about ‘bad’ behaviour.

1 comment June 20, 2010

nighttime

We sleep together.   One of my greatest joys is wrapping myself around baby A at night & cuddling her through the night.  Nighttime is half the time I get to spend with my babies & I would feel so ripped off if those hours we spent apart in separate rooms.  Co-sleeping is what we’ve always done since it was just CJ, A & I, it just came naturally, made life easy & we all enjoyed it.  Nighttime parenting can be full-on & it is much easier to be able to feed, cuddle, take to toilet etc when you know what is needed as soon as bub does.  Once when MC was sick in her bed & went back to sleep I thought about how awful it would feel if she was in another room & I found her in the morning covered in vomit.  I can meet my babies needs straight away.  CJ has recently moved on to a mattress at the foot of our big bed & he says he likes it because no one annoys him down there!  One day my babies will all leave the family bed asking for their own space in their own rooms.  That will be a sad day indeed, but also a celebration of independence.  Until then I will appreciate the extra cuddles & my heart will be happy.

2 comments May 2, 2010

New

Our new baby was born on the 28th December.  Her birth was so right, I really do hope I come back to write about it here.  For now I am enjoying our baby moon, so aware that each moment she is getting older & how quickly these early days will pass.  CJ & MC have welcomed their baby sister with an acceptance I never imagined, I am so in love with them all.  I can’t think of a better start to the new year then having a brand new life with us.

It looks like it might be another adventurous year for us as right now we’re trying to decide if we return to The UAE or try our luck in Brisbane.  I have a feeling our time in the Middle East may have unexpectedly come to an end, but with a new life & year & CJ ready for ‘something’ outside of the home my feeling is a stint in Australia might be a breath of fresh air for us.

Regardless of where we are my wishes for the year stay the same.  I will try to focus on my young babes, keep things simple & remind myself every morning about the goal of being worthy of imitation.

Welcome baby girl & Happy New Year friends!

Add comment December 31, 2009

Blessing Days

getting started

getting started

I’m 35 weeks pregnant now and moving into full on birth preparation mode.  I had 2 unforgettable days this week spending time with friends, saying goodbye as we prepare for our trip home to New Zealand.  I received blessings & beads (& a few cheeky gifts) to encourage me on my journey and glowed feeling so propped up by my wonderful women!  On Wednesday my Dubai friends gathered at my house to get some henna done.  The artist is from Sudan & she was incredible.  She didn’t speak much English so we pretty much left the designs up to her.  I loved how she called me sister.

Dubai:

CJ & MC were curious

my tribe

finished product

beads, beany & booties

booties and beads

wow!

The next day CJ, MC & I got a ride with A to Abu Dhabi for a mellow day with a three very special friends.  On the way I was so tired but when we arrived & I saw my friends who I hadn’t seen for a long time I was so happy & woke right up.  It was a beautiful & emotional morning & I cried lots of happy tears, slightly overwhelmed.  I collected more beads for my birthing necklace that I’m looking forward to threading up once we’re settled in NZ.  These incredible pics were taken by the incredible Kirsty Lamour, but even more special then these photos are the words she wrote about me for the morning which have touched me so much & made me cry buckets!  Thanks K will pass photos & your writing on to this baby one day.

Abu Dhabi:

CJ whispering something about chocolate @ nanny's

And these taken by me!

typical expressions when these two are together

I’ve been given lots and lots of birth preparation DVD’s too so I’ve started working my way through them & will enjoy the last weeks of my pregnancy filling up on those, getting ready to have this baby.  CJ has been watching some too, it is hard to explain to an almost 4 year old that pain can be good & isn’t always a “mistake”! He is looking forward to meeting the new baby.

We are leaving in the morning & I’m ready for a long hard journey.  It will be 24 hours door to door on my own with CJ & MC, 35 weeks pregnant & involving 3 airplane boardings & a terminal change.  I’m hoping that when we finally arrive I will breathe a big sigh, knowing why we’ve done it & ready to relax in our new nest, waiting for our next family member to arrive.

Wellington: Almost 3 weeks later & I had a bit of a surprise 3rd Blessing Day today!  I went to see my old LLL group & the pregnant women were read blessings which was so special & surprising!  I also received a book as a gift from the Mana group to our Dubai group & lots of muffins to take home :-)) ah I mix with great people!

1 comment November 22, 2009

pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding

I caught myself in a mirror today.  I was dressed in black and facing the mirror head on, I hardly looked pregnant.  Later on I was talking to two women and it wasn’t until I stood up one of them realised I was pregnant.  Until now I have felt big and I’ve put on a lot of weight, but for a second it made me wonder if I’ve done the right thing?  But in my heart I know I have.

I chose not to have any prenatal care in this pregnancy.  I’ve felt fine so mostly kept away from the ‘professionals’.  My previous experiences with health care professionals or ‘carers’ (ha ha) have left me angry.  I have discovered that in pregnancy, birth and childcare women are dis-empowered and belittled.

I have been told stories by women who have lost pregnancies, and been left with no support.  Others have been advised of serious health problems and even told to leave the country and terminate their pregnancy for medical reasons, who have gone on to have perfect children.  Others have been told all looks great and not until after birth have they  discovered things were less than ‘perfect’.  So even though I’ve had one doctors appointment and after careful thought chose to have two scans, I have pretty much decided my pregnancy will unfold along its own natural course and what will be will be.  I chose to trust in my body and not to put myself through the stress and expense of uncaring medical care.

I am wary to write about my birth as I have a clear picture in my mind of what I’m hoping for and am scared expressing it will somehow curse my dream.  My desire to birth peacefully and safely at home and uninterrupted by strangers means I am traveling across the world with my two wee ones at 36 weeks pregnant, no small task!  The birth culture here in Dubai is out of control. Doctors are authoritarian and rigid, systematic policies  come before women’s wants and needs.

And after pregnancy and birth comes breastfeeding.  I have come to believe, after almost four years of mothering, that breastfeeding is much much more than a way of feeding.  Babies have an intense need to suck and benefit emotionally by being able to outgrow the need for mum in their own good time.  MC has continued to breastfeed through my pregnancy despite their being very little if any milk for her.  I am willing to breastfeed her and her new brother or sister and I hope it will help her remain secure in the unsettling time of her new siblings arrival.  It hasn’t been easy feeding her through the pregnancy.  It has been painful and often felt disgusting (breastfeeding aversion or agitation), but I have kept going believing it is what is right for her and that it is her decision to decide when she’s done, not mine.

 

Add comment October 27, 2009

Busy growing a baby

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31 weeks pregnant

I haven’t written on here for ages.  Time is just flying and I’ve been hard at work growing this baby.  I have taken a “day off” today which means no commitments & a day to just be.  The last month has been an emotional chaos with so many friends dealing with different troubles and struggles and I’ve been feeling their pain.  I continue to stumble my way through mothering my two babes while finishing essays and studying for an exam, it’s been hectic.  I’ve enjoyed LLL work and holding a fundraiser and organising & preparing for another Blessingway. Oftentimes I nap with CJ & MC in the afternoon but that usually involves a 10-20 minute power nap & lots of reading or scheming. I have a long list of pregnancy related complaints but they keep getting put into perspective by other peoples afflictions.

Another major change is that grumpy got a new job….And isn’t grumpy anymore.  It is so nice to have the man I know back and some sort of emotional support returned.  Six months of living with grumpy was NOT FUN.  The tyrant he was working for has put us back two steps in the grand plan (financially) but hopefully his new job will see things begin to brighten again.

We are heading back to NZ in four weeks and really looking forward to a refreshing change.  Three months at a time in the desert is more then enough & the need for some fresh air becomes urgent.  A change of scene will do us all good.  We are looking forward to welcoming our new baby & the reality is really sinking in as I imagine how our days might be with a newborn in the mix.  CJ is as trying as ever with wonderful highs and extreme behaviours testing me & our relationship.  I often still fail in the way I would like to react to him but I feel like our relationship is solid.

Now to end this post with something delicious, these are pictures from last week, enjoying a vegetable followed by lemon meringue pie for dinner!

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Peter Pan with his knife & torch

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MC loves to eat

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it was really good!

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return of the man, good riddance grumpy

Add comment October 27, 2009

Relief – CJ

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  I was getting myself in a state worrying about CJ starting ‘school’ in January.  It was mainly a financial concern (it’s really expensive) and because I don’t really believe in academics or institutions for wee ones it just wasn’t sitting well.  I was trying to figure out how we would rush back from NZ with a brand new family member then have to find the money and get him straight into the second term which he’d already be late for…. From then on we’d be in THAT world.  Terms, uniforms, fees, set holidays and the rest.

My friend was showing me her sons uniform for the school I would want CJ in.  2 pairs of shoes, shorts, tops, bags, PE shorts.  It was rather ridiculous and it was that day it dawned on me.  He doesn’t have to go yet.  And more importantly then my feelings on the matter are CJ’s thoughts.  He say he doesn’t want to go to school.  He wants to stay at home with mum, he’ll go when he’s a big boy.  Even when we talk about his friends being at school he still has no desire to go.  So I feel relieved that I’ve now decided the whole ‘school thing’ can go on hold until the new school year September 2010 at least.

It will be another mothering challenge having 3 little ones at home but it is my world for the short time I have my babes with me.  I’m going to take the challenge!

At ‘school’ there are 2 kindergarten years.  Using the English curriculum CJ could start next week.  The American system starts a year later so even if I/he was ready he wouldn’t be going until next year in the US system anyway.  This means my decision is simply not to put him in a ‘nursery’.

CJ went to his friends house yesterday for 3 hours.  I missed him so much and even felt teary!  Probably hormonal with the pregnancy but it reaffirmed my decision to let him stay at home.  I love his company.  We have terrible days and amazing moments and I know one day it will all be a blur of treasured memories.

Relief.

ready & excited for a play date - Mr Independent

ready & excited for a play date - Mr Independent

5 comments August 27, 2009

Life is good

I’m still really happy to be back in Dubai and even though it is the middle of summer we are falling into a wonderful daily and weekly routine that keeps us busy and content. CJ does his best when he follows a routine & knows what is coming next, it’s an essential Steiner concept – rhythm – that definitely works for him. Sunday morning we have a regular play date, Monday has been a preschoolers group with activities, play & snack, Tuesday is soft play (MC loves it!), Wednesday is grocery shopping & Thursday a play date at home. CJ & MC both go to sleep easily after lunch together & I wake them up in the afternoon with a story. I usually get them snacks & we hang out in the kitchen preparing dinner together. CJ loves his new role of chef & he is a good helper with many “jobs” throughout the day. Then we have our nighttime routine: dinner, bath, DVD, stories. And another day is complete.
I’m trying to fit my study & LLL work in at nap times or after babes are asleep at night. It’s tough and I know I am doing too much right now so I’m really looking forward to finishing with Massey in 3 months time (for a while). I’ve managed to do some yoga practice 3 nights this week which makes me feel good, but in return I am tired as getting to sleep too late. Ahhhh, so it’s hectic, but good, and my babes delight me daily.
Am still working on that photo of MC in her Tip Toey Joey’s Aunty K sent her….

Add comment August 4, 2009

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